People are Dumb

People are dumb. Three examples:

1. The Palin-Couric Interview. I can't help but mention this past week's catastrophic Palin interview. A perfect example of people being dumb. In this case, not Palin, McCain. It has become completely obvious to me that McCain has tasked Miss North Carolina with prepping Palin for her interviews. I personally believe that this was a huge mistake, such as The Iraq.



2. Each and every Subway eatery in the downtown area. Uhm, it's a sandwich, and I'm walking you through the ingredients. How can you get it wrong? How can you accidentally leave your glove in my sandwich (this actually happened!!)? Then how does it become my fault? If you call yourself a sandwich artist, I totally expect a Monet, not a crushed velvet clown playing poker with dogs.

3. The ending to the movie Pretty in Pink, aka the worst movie ending in history. The film's finale has always disappointed me. How could Andie end up with Blaine, not Duckie? Blaine? That's not a name, that's a major appliance. A few years ago I found out that in the original ending to the film Andie and Duckie DID end up together. The film was shown to a test audience and a new ending was taped prior to its release based on the test audience's reaction. I want to know who these cold, heartless people are. I want names! I mean come on, Duckie v. Blaine, there's no contest. Yes, Blaine was fairly adorable. But he was also boring and spineless. Duckie, on the other hand, was lovably eccentric and uber cool. He had fantastic taste in music, how can we forget his homage to Otis Redding?



Swoon. Moreover, Duckie adored Andie and stood up for her as Blaine coward in the stairwell. How could a test audience get is so very wrong? Sigh. At least Valley Girl got it right.

UPDATE: Peter Cetera is the Inspiration

Last night Heather and I saw Peter Cetera and Tuna Fruit Goddamn was it awesome! Here's a little rundown of the night's events:

Let me start off by saying that several years ago Heather and I saw Chicago play at the Waikiki Shell. We both like the music of Chicago and were pretty excited to go. Sadly, we only found out Peter Cetera would not be performing with Chicago that night after the concert started. Needless to say, we were pretty disappointed. I mean come on, Chicago without Peter Cetera is pretty much just a Chicago cover band. So when we took our seats just before the show started and saw the giant projector screen set up behind the symphony, we started getting kind of antsy. We double checked the fine print on the program to make sure that it did not read " The Honolulu Symphony welcomes Peter Cetera, via satellite". Luckily, it did not.

Shortly after we arrived the show began. The symphony played an introductory number and local phenomenon, Matt Catingub, made his appearance. Much to the chagrin of Heather and I, he announced the first half of the performance would be Cetera-less. In the symphony's defense, the pieces they played were pretty great. They did a medley of 70's sitcom theme songs that was pretty fantastic. The medley included the themes to The Brady Bunch, Sanford and Son, M.A.S.H., and The Love Boat. But once you have the idea that you are about to see Peter Cetera play in you head, any minor delay becomes an annoyance.

After a twenty-five minute intermission, the concert started up again. This time the symphony started off by playing a medley of hits made popular by Cetera, many of which were listed in my previous post. Then, Peter made his entrance and started off the night by playing Restless Heart. And I got to tell you, from that point forward it was just one hit after another. Cetera did not pull the old, I'm coming out with a new album so here is a bunch of new songs you don't know trick. He totally kept it real.

Unsurprisingly, he sings with a lot of passion. His second song in the set was Glory of Love, and possibly my favorite part of the concert came when during the infamous "like a knight in shining armor" line he picked up the microphone stand, pointed it towards the audience, and swept it across the crowd trying to look each person in the eye. When he say's he'll be the hero you've been dreaming of, he totally means it. It was pure cheesy, cliched goodness!

Midway through the concert, Peter broke out the home movies. Apparently, he had recently come across some old footage from his early days with Chicago. Although I did appreciate seeing the footage that is probably unavailable elsewhere, it kind of felt like I was watching one of those Time Life Music infomercials. In any case, it was kind of a nice humorous moment seeing Cetera in his shoulder length blonde hair and pink satin jumpsuit.

Another nice moment came when Cetera brought his daughter, Claire, out on stage to help sing on a few songs. Claire had an excellent voice, but we did question a few of the song choices for the duet. Next Time I Fall did not really seems to be an appropriate choice for a father-daughter duo. I was praying they would not launch it a version of Afternoon Delight. Luckily, they did not.

This is turning into a long post, so my final comment will be on the performance of the hit You're the Inspiration. Peter explained to the audience that whenever they originally played the song, it would inspire the waiving of lighters. So he requested we all pull out our cell phones to recreate the moment. We were instructed to waive the cell phones when he pointed to us. Now since they audience was largely of an older generation (Heather and I concluded we were likely the youngest people in the audience to have purchased tickets), they were largely unfamiliar with the practice. It was cute to see people amazed at the effect the phones created. It was also a nice way to keep the concert interactive.

All in all, Peter Cetera=Totally Glorious.

To The Ala Wai and Beyond

Since the last few weeks have been exceedingly stressful (if I have not yet told you about the "trapped in the stairwell" incident, feel free to ask, but please do not be disappointed when you find out the story has nothing to do with R. Kelly) I decided to start jogging again, which has always been a good stress reliever for me. My current route of choice takes me along the Ala Wai to the Kapahulu Fire Station and back. I took the route last night and I must say, Waikiki is always an adventure.

First off, they are currently doing construction on the corner of Kalakaua and Kapiolani so I had to weave my way between police cars and bulldozing equipment, I felt like I was in some strange boot camp. Perhaps this in some way will be good training for the 2009 Swamp Romp.

Once I hit the Ala Wai and its wide, "luxury" sidewalks I thought I was home free, but on four separate occasions I came very close to falling in. In my defense, two of those times were to avoid bicyclists, and only one was due to my sheer clumsiness. The fourth time was to avoid a three year old kid on one of those power wheels tricycles. You should have seen the look in her eyes, she was totally gunning for me.

Anyway, while on my jog I managed to see a car hit a pole (and then drive away), get a shout out from a canoe of paddlers (how do you respond to a "hey hey hey" from a canoe paddling past you? I opted for the ever-appropriate shaka), and see 3 rats scurry across my path (they were fairly large and Heather has suggested that perhaps they were kittens with very short legs).
Good times.

So, in the words of the homeless man I jogged past:

Tuna Fruit Goddamn!

Peter Cetera Is The Inspiration

This weekend, Heather and I are going to see Peter Cetera play with the Honolulu Symphony and I have not been this excited since we saw Elvis Costello play with the symphony a few years ago. I bought a new dress and everything. Now I'm not a particularly huge fan of the symphony itself, but apparently I am a fan of singer songwriters with hit albums in 1977. If I was challenged to listen to music from a single year for the rest of my life, I would strongly consider 1977. Check it out. Although, Hotel California was a hit that year. There's the rub.

Some of you might be a little lukewarm about Peter, but consider this list of hits:

Baby, What a Big Surprise
Stay The Night
You're The Inspiration
Hard To Say I'm Sorry
Hard Habit to Break (I guess many thing are difficult for Peter)
After All
and of course...
Glory of Love

Now I defy any of you to tell me that 20 years from now, if you happen to find yourself in a grocery store and one of the above begins to play, you will not get the overwhelming urge to close your eyes, clench your fist and belt out the chorus. Come on, you can even join in now if you like..."like a knight in shining armor, from a long time ago. Just in time I'll save the day, take you to my castle far away-ay." See, didn't that feel good (I'm talking to you Maggie). Anyone up for an encore? I'm thinking something by Journey, which means you should probably keep your eyes closed and fists clenched...

Note to Democrats

If you want to win this election, you need to stop talking about Palin and rally your base. Consider the video below a sort of how-to guide. Come on people, if we want Obama to be the next President of the Greek Counsel, uhm, I mean the next President of the United States, we need to come together. Also, if anyone knows how to play the keytar or program a laser light show, that may also prove useful.

Got more stories than J.D.'s got Salinger

So I've been on sort of a Salinger kick lately and decided to re-read all of his work that is currently in the public domain. In the last few weeks I have reread his anthologized works: Franny And Zooey, Raise High The Roof Beam Carpenters And Seymour An Introduction, Nine Stories, and The Catcher In The Rye. As well as two of his unanthologized works, Hapworth 16, 1924 and Slight Rebellion Off Madison. If anyone is interested, the later two are likely available somewhere on the Internet, but can be read in its original form by obtaining a copy of The Complete New Yorker, a 7 disc DVD collection, that contains every page of the magazine published between 1925 and 2007 (which is what I did). It should be noted though that Slight Rebellion is the basis for The Catcher in the Rye, so the material isn't real anything that is not already available. If any is looking to read some Salinger, Nine Stories is actually a really good place to begin. It contains the short story For Esme-with Love and Squalor, my favorite of all Salinger's work.

For those not already familiar with Salinger, many of his stories revolve around the Glass family. Two former Vaudeville performing parents and their 7 progeny. The children, precocious and intelligent beyond their years, each performed on a radio show entitled "It's a Wise Child" at varying times. Many of the stories are narrated by Buddy Glass, the second eldest of the children, following the suicide of his elder brother Seymour (believe me, I'm really not giving anything away by referencing his suicide.) The stories of the Glass family as well as the other works by Salinger generally carry much of the same themes. Many have very philosophical and religious overtones, and address the characters' struggle with the concepts of authenticity, and innocence. In Catcher in the Rye for instance, Holden Caulfield is in a constant struggle to recognize, hold on to, and protect innocence, especially that of his younger sister. Like one of Salinger's other main characters, Franny Glass, Holden is driven to a virtual mental collapse trying to figure out how to maintain his integrity and keep his ever growing disdain for the inauthentic, the "phonies" from consuming him.

If any of this is sounding even remotely familiar to Wes Anderson fans, there is good reason. Salinger was a major influence of Anderson and that influence is seen clearly in much of his work. Specifically, The Royal Tenenbaums and to a lesser extent, Rushmore. Re-reading Salinger in fact made me realize what a fine line Anderson is riding between influence and plagiarism. In The Royal Tenenbaums for instance, not only is the family made up of former child prodigies, their last name is very similar to the married name of one of the Glass daughters, Tanenbaum. Even more telling, some of the scenes in the movie seem directly taken from Franny and Zooey. As for Rushmore, one could describe it as the story of an uncommon young man expelled from his prestigious private school. That same description can apply to The Catcher in the Rye. But it's okay Wes, you've made some of my favorite movies, so I ain't mad at cha.

For those of you who haven't read Salinger, here is a little bit of what you have been missing:

"She said she knew she was able to fly because when she came down she always had dust on her fingers from touching the light bulbs"

"...whenever he said anything on the show that delighted her, she used to step on his foot...On certain nights when he was in especially good form, Seymour used to come home with a slight limp"

"... please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of early-blooming parentheses (((( ))))."

" and my atoms, moreover, are arranged to make me constitutionally inclined to believe that where there's smoke there's usually strawberry Jello, seldom fire..."

"The fact is obvious much too late, but the singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid, and joy is a liquid"

and finally

"I don't really feel that anyone needs an airtight reason for quoting from the works of writers he loves, but it's always nice, I'll grant you, if he has one."

...or any mythical beasts, that are well known.

I totally want to see this documentary.

Whiter Shade of Palin

Perhaps I'm a little slow on this one, but I finally realized John McCain's rationale in choosing Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate. Apparently, the presidential candidate is trying to take advantage of the recent popularity of the movie Juno. Initially, he made a misstep as the movie's title and location have nothing to do with Alaska. But I think he recovered nicely with the teenage pregnancy scandal. I hope all you undecided Independent voters and on-the-fence Republicans like orange flavored Tic Tacs, cause you're in store for a whole mailbox full. Care of John McCain, of course.

To all of you who do not have any interest in the election, I apologize for the series of political posts as of late. Please accept this awesome video of a Japanese cover of We Are The World as a personal gift from me to you. Both Bruce Springsteen and Cyndi Lauper rock my socks. Sugoi Ne!